You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Less talking, more tequila
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
