its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
jump out the window naked night went bad
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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