Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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