So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
