My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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