And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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