More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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