I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
