you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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