I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
