To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
