New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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