no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
