He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
