Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Randomize