And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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