I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
