idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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