you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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