No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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