its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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