Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
