i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize