i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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