I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
where does the pee come out of this thing
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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