Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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