What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
