fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
