PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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