they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
