He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Randomize
