its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
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