I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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