This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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