bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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