at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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