I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
