I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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