Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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