You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
