Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
