There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
