we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
