At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
