Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
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