Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Michael Bay diarrhea
This house was built for laser tag.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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