Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize