i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
