I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm always down for nudity.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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