Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
