Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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