Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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