I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
