so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize