I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
