I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
