D3 body, D1 cock
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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