just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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