there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
