Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
my being single is dangerous.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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