Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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